Saturday, 15 January 2011

Don't try this at home...

So at 39 weeks I thought it was finally time to do a little housekeeping. I didn't want to peak too soon and have to repeat the process since I knew it was going to be neither easy nor enjoyable. But needs must so I swung into action.

Firstly, toe nails. For this procedure I adopted a sitting position with one leg bent out at a very odd looking angle to one side. Not the best painting I've ever done but they are now a nice deep plum colour so all is well.
I have kept my finger nails clear since apparently if you have to go into theatre they take it off anyway to check blood circulation. Quick and easy on that front.
Finally bikini line -arrh the thing I have been avoiding for some time.
Now I obviously can't see it, but armed with a tube of Veet (or Immac if you're old school) I went for the approach of 'no such thing as too much' and spread a load on there. Pleased with myself I even put on a face mask whilst waiting for the cream to do its job.
After waiting much longer than the time on the tube (I never find 5 mins long enough) I hopped in the shower and rinsed it off. From what I could see this was another job well done and I did wonder why I hadn't done it earlier.

However, once out of the shower and 'bio oiled' up like a slippery seal as always, I nipped through to the bedroom to check my finished work.
And this was when I realised the error of my ways and why it is always useful to see what you are doing. I had obviously spread the cream over where I thought was the top of my bikini line but actually was further down than I had realised, leaving a kind of uneven stripe. Things had obviously got pretty out of control down there over the past few months. What was even worse was that around the sides my work was also highly uneven creating bald spots and a look that can only be described as alopecia esq.
So I am about to put my bits on show and I just know the midwife is going to be thinking, "what the hell". Previously, fine, I'm sure midwives see unruly bikini lines regularly. Now, "what the hell". So I had to jump back in the shower (notably bio oil and water create some sort of oil slick effect) and get out a razor to try and neaten it all up. And we all know that shaving lasts for all of a day and results in really uncomfortable regrowth.
I have a regrowing, uneven, 'alopecia like' bikini line which is itchy. Great.

On a much more positive note we had Mum stay with us for the past few days which was just lovely. We went on a jaunt to Ikea and Mamas and Papas as she wanted to buy Mav his first cot. We decided on one from John Lewis which is being delivered this week (never knowingly undersold). Really could not establish what you gained for your money in paying £300 over £100 in terms of the actual cot itself. We did go for the middle matress option as I do understand why that is important. Mamas and Papas do a good summary of the differences with matresses on their website:
We also got the final thing on my list which was a changing bag. We went for a weekender style in black. Suitable for both G Kisby and I and a little more structured than the normal slouchy option (which I was having real trouble spending money on). It comes with the insulated bottle holder, changing mat etc but I would genuinely use it with or without Mav - still just clinging on to that last bit of credibility on the fashion front.

Really appreciated the company as still feels a bit odd just waiting and not being able to do much at home in the day. I also learnt a few more new techniques for my knitting which I am absolutely loving.

And finally, huge congratulations to our friends Colin and Katie who had their twins at 1.30am this morning. Ted and Oscar, lovely names. They were 6 and 7lbs respectively so thank God Katie did not go on any further. Too exciting and can't wait to meet them...
Your mates are out now Mav - there really is no excuse for you not to come out and play!!!

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