Thursday, 23 June 2011

Guilt free Friday!

I've learnt since having Mabel that there are loads of things that can make you feel guilty as a mother. And not just the obvious ones which I expected, like when returning to work (I still have all that to come!)
So I am having a guilt free Friday today in a bid to stop giving myself such a hard time (always so hard on ourselves - who needs enemies?)

My mantra is going to be the following:

- I'm not going to feel guilty that sometimes I count the hours until G Kisby comes home. I know that I am incredibly lucky to have this time and do truly appreciate every second we have together. But it is o.k to have days where you wish time away, because it is really hard work!
- I am not going to feel guilty that I don't play with her during every waking hour. It is o.k for me to have time for myself & she will benefit from a break in the stimulation - step away from the baby! G Kisby took this photo.  Her toys had obviously just been cleared onto her play mat (probably by him). She doesn't normally have this many toys to play with at once.....honestly.
- I am not going to feel guilty that I sometimes look forward to nap times so that I can get things done. It doesn't mean that I love her any less!

- I am not going to feel guilty that G Kisby and I have our own relationship which is aside from her and always will be (how ridiculous does that sound, of course we do. But I am so attached to this new little being who was actually part of me for so long that I feel guilt that we want to spend time on our own without her because she is ours and we are hers. But G Kisby and I do need to retain 'us', looking at it another way Mabel will surely benefit from being raised by parents who are still massively in love)

- I am definitely not going to feel guilty that I am out again tonight with friends for dinner and will be having a lovely big glass of wine whilst G Kisby does bedtime!

There...no more guilt for me!

I genuinely did not think I would do this whole 'mother guilt' thing but it turns out I have found it completely unavoidable. I'm thinking maybe everyone has their own list of 'guilt'?

Or is it just me being a bad mother...god dammit here it comes again!!! Ha Ha

6 comments:

  1. Good for you :) you definitely deserve some time to yourself every now and then, enjoy that wine tonight! x

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  2. I can relate to this post in so many ways! How old is Mable? My little Rose is 5 months now.. I can see her transforming into a toddler in front of my very eyes!
    It's very hard, but sometimes you do just need a moment to yourself.. at least for your sanity! Rose is napping upstairs right now and I'm lovvinngg the peace and quiet! hehe :-)

    Ashley xx

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  3. no, no guilt at all. never have.
    just kidding...ONLY every waking minute!
    gets less as they get older and start to annoy you more though!
    Who am I kidding - it just gets different. When they are annoying you feel guilty for thinking they are annoying, then when you get past that you feel guilty for bringing them up to be annoying!
    Think we might all be with you.
    Can't WAIT for that glass of wine tonight - and with some of my favourite people! see you at 7!
    fee x

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  4. Oh yes, when you're baby's born the midwife should say 'here's your baby and over there looking ominous in the corner is a great big guilt monster that will follow you around for the rest of your life'. Fee's absolutely right about the finding them annoying/guilt for finding them annoying thing - it's hilarious and reassuring to know other people are like me in feeling that!
    Have a great weekend
    Emily x

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  5. Ooops - 'you're' baby??? - doh - I did, of course, mean 'your' baby!

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  6. Yes we are all with you. Totally with you. You should read this post

    http://thingslearntthehardway.blogspot.com/2011/03/ways-in-which-i-am-perfect.html

    Actually I'm not with you on the guilt for not playing with Mabel every waking moment. I don't play with mine every walking moment and I do it deliberately. It's very important for a child to be able to play independently and it helps their imagination grow. All this structured play does not make for a well developed child, it makes for a child who will NEED people all day long for entertainment. At least that's my excuse!! You are so being the best ever Mummy by giving her a bit of space. How else can she assimilate (can't spell it) stuff if she's being constantly stimulated!! What a clever instinctive mother you are, now if you could just get shot of that guilt......

    xxx

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