On Tuesday we went for a walk and for coffee with friends (nothing new there, though it has to be said this gets a lot less relaxing now they eat real food / wriggle etc). On the way home Mabel fell asleep, perfect I thought, can leave her in the pram and get a few bits done before she wakes up.
However, when arriving home I realised that the car was parked so close to the house that I couldn't get the pram past (it was me who parked it last clearly).
Hmmm, what to do. I couldn't leave Mabel on the road (it is a very quiet road but even so, even I knew that wasn't acceptable) but waking her just seemed too annoying.
I considered grabbing a book and sitting on my doorstep reading it but that felt a bit weird.
So, in my wisdom, I thought I would park the pram on the small rockery area at the front whilst I moved the car slightly.
Now I've never even stepped on this rockery area, it is full of those ever lasting shrub things, very low maintenance, not particularly pretty. When I told G Kisby I'd left her there he asked, "how the hell?"
I'll tell you how, with difficulty. I had to negotiate a large fern, go over some sort of huge feature rock and end up balancing with 2 wheels on an ornamental heather.
I ran in to get the keys, saying hello to our electrician who was there at the time, then nipped back to the car.
But it was the big flaming stupid car. The one I have crashed previously (twice, though the second doesn't count since there was no visible damage), the one that I have no spatial awareness in. So after about 4 attempts of backwards / forwards I gave up.
O.k I thought, I'll move the car off the drive instead, 'good plan' I credited myself.
So I reversed it out. Ooh, but where am I now going to put it. Realising there was no space outside the house due to the electricians van I drove up the road to find somewhere.
Half way down the road it hit me.
Oh my God, I have left our baby in her pram sat in our front rockery. What the hell was I thinking.
In my panic to get back I attempted a 3 point turn right where I was on our very thin road. 5 points later and no nearer to facing the right way I had to give up and carry on further down the road (yes, further away from our child).
Finding a drive I could turn into I managed to get round and whizz back to the house. Mabel of course was still where I left her so I abandoned the car and jumped out to move her. However, what I hadn't thought through was getting her off the god dam rockery. Hmm trixy. And of course when tilted to 90 degrees she just woke up.
So I learnt three things
a) Don't attempt to put your sleeping child on a rockery
b) Don't then leave your child on said rockery
c) To be fair, just don't have a rockery?!?
So after a 15 minute debacle, with now awake and hungry baby, I then had to put the car back on the drive where I started. Only now with the electrician stood on the front step watching as he waited to talk to me.
Oooooh no. No pressure. I had properly sweaty palms. At least let me crash my car in peace.
I didn't (promise G Kisby).