So I have finished my breasfeeding completely now and realised that I didn't do my final diary entry on the experience. So here goes...
I actually didn't have to make the decision to stop the final night feed, Mabel made it for me. I think she was just enjoying the full fat, faster flowing version too much. One night I offered her a boob and she looked at me like I was crazy. Like a serious, 'what, THE HELL, is that?' look - hmmm, way to thank a girl who has let you use her boobs as milk cartons for the past 7 months. It was actually really strange. I tried to encourage her to take a swig (thinking it might stop the blockages) but she didn't seem to know what to do (though she clearly did - she has drama queen tendancies).
I was really lucky not to have any more mastitis or need to do much more expressing. In fact the end was much less painful than I'd expected. Job done. Boobs returned (I say 'boobs', they have been returned way smaller than prior to getting pregnant, I wonder if it is a lack of contraceptive pill...?)
The only thing I'd say is that considering all the advice at the start, things dried up on both counts by the end. And I actually do think I could have done with knowing a little more about how to stop and the process of reducing milk down when weaning.
I hadn't realised that by now she only needs a pint a day (we've just spent weeks getting her on to formula and working out what the hell we do with sterilising etc). In hindsight I might have given it to her in a cup with meals rather than even introduce day bottle feeds.
But we can't complain, she loves her food (doesn't refuse anything) and doesn't seem to have even noticed that we dropped one milk feed this week.
And I actually don't feel too sad in the end to have finished. It is lovely to have my boobs back and it has returned a load of freedom. I'm happy that I managed to do it for 7 months and will definitely try to do it again if we have more children. Only very occasionally, like the other day in M&S cafe when a lady was breastfeeding, do I feel a twinge of, erm, I'm not sure what really. Nostalgia? Sadness? Bizaarely perhaps I felt the need to say, "I did breastfeed, I have just finished" - hmmm a sudden insight into the feelings of those unable to breastfeed perhaps...? Or perhaps it is more to reassure, "Don't you worry about being discreet, you just crack on". I didn't have anyone make negative comments when I breastfed in public but you just don't seem to see it that often which did, particularly by the end when she wriggled, make me feel a bit consipcuous. I won't miss that!
So all thats left for me to do is find a good push up bra!
A little bird told me that I would see loads of changes with Mabel around this time. She was absolutely right!
She is sitting up pretty much unaided (we've had a few nose dives but she seems to be getting better at dealing with them. Either that or I am not making as much fuss anymore)
She literally babbles on constantly and we are hearing lots of new sounds (yaya and da da are favourites. Nothing on the Ma Ma front yet but I continue on in vain. Come on Mabes...)
And she is LOVING her food. Banana goes down a treat (I had to stop tonight even though she was banging her hands in protest, she can't be eating more than half a banana surely). Yes I know she should be on carrot but lets face it banana is far quicker to whip out when you haven't remembered to defrost one of those blasted blended cubes. Yes I know it is only week two, she will be on ready meals before you know it (I joke Granny)
And she gets the joke. We had a battle over taking her bib off tonight and she thought it was too funny yanking it back from me with her chubby little fist.
Love it!!!!
It's been a bit of a funny week...
It started with a lovely trip to Heaton Park with my brother and his boys where we fed the ducks and visited the farm (Mabel slept through most of the former and screamed through the latter due to a very yappy jack russell who ran past her pram and woke her up with a fright. My leg was very close to jutting out as it ran past me I tell you. Although it was called 'Russell' which did make me smile).
Then on Wednesday we had nothing on, no car, lots of rain and an unhappy baby with sore teeth. By 3pm as I trudged to the park hoping the drizzle wouldn't turn into anything more, I was struggling to make positive my internal monologue....
"It's just so hard...I know it is so ungrateful and selfish and wrong but I am a bit bored today...I really need some adult conversation..."
G Kisby rang to find me sat on a bench, Mabel finally asleep for the first time all day,
"Argh that sounds nice"
"It's not. It's wet, I'm knackered. I'm sitting here till she wakes up then at least she will be distracted for another half hour on the walk home"
"Oh no is that what it's come to"
"Sometimes babe, yes it is"
Then today was again very lovely. We spent time with Fee and Granny, visited the 'Good as New' sale at church and returned with some booty (I am obsessed with buying second hand toys - only the ones that I can Flash wipe you realise). I have left my lovely vintage typewriter with Fee who has promised that I can have it back once photographed (hmmm...)
Mabel is showing the first signs of some attachment issues this week. Smiles are no longer on offer for people she doesn't know, we have crying when I leave the room and her arms now go up when she wants lifting (which is most of the time, I am desperately trying to avoid her thinking she can be carried constantly).
She is getting better at sitting up all the time and is still enjoying her porridge. Today she had her first try at some fruit (I do know we should start with veg but I hadn't prepared any and a banana was close to hand. Oh no, it is only the first week...)
And even though we do still have difficult days she continues to be the best fun and we still both stand in her bedroom every night staring at her sleeping, giddy with just how lucky we are!
