Breastfeeding come down...

I've tried to record all my breastfeeding stories so that if I ever do it again I can remember both the ups and downs.

Turns out, in all the NCT classes and midwife visits, no one mentioned the come down.
We have been trying for the past few weeks to wean Mabel onto a bottle for when I return to work.
There was a period when I thought she was fed up of it anyway and it would therefore be a natural process. But it turns out she was just fed up of milk in general and when there was a food option she was happy just to take a quick milk snackette. From a boob ideally.


So it hasn't been the easiest. We have had a couple of occasions of mild mastitis, a fair amount of late night expressing and a fed up baby when the milk bar closed signs come down and she is offered a drink from a vending machine instead
 It feels awful when she is getting all angry and just tries to launch herself at my chest. It must be really confusing for her.
(picture source)

And that's not to mention that I am feeling sad about finishing (G Kisby has discovered me doing a 'secret' feed - "but she was still hungry," came my response) and I think my hormones are a bit up and down again too.

Don't get me wrong, there are certain things I won't miss. No longer having my boob swung around in public (she doesn't sit still anymore so feeding discretely is no longer an option), not having to express if I am away from her (in a hotel toilet was a particular highlight or in a moving car with the family on Saturday, that was a joy). And I definitely won't be missing those teeth which are well and truly through now and very sharp (I have found it difficult to hold back the obscenities the odd time she has decided to clamp down).


I'll keep doing my first and last thing feeds for now so I've not hung up the old maternity bras yet but things are a changing and we are both going to have some adjustments to make!

'Mucky Mabel'

On Saturday we had our NCT reunion where all the couples met up with their babies for a celebratory lunch. It was very strange to have so many babies in one room but a really lovely idea and we had a very pleasant afternoon eating cake and drinking sparkling wine. Mabel was on good form and stayed awake pretty much the whole time (seemingly the only newborn to do so, think there was far too much going on to sleep). However, if there was one moment not to play ball it would be the group photo. All babies lined up in age order on the sofa - lovely. Suddenly very much wishing she was peacefully sleeping like most of the others were (prior to her screaming down their ears and attacking them with her flailing arms that is). She threw a proper tantrum about having her picture taken, we had pouting, frowning, wriggling then full blown red in the face screaming. I put it down to one of two things:
1. We had just had to change her baby grow for a 'backup' option we had in the change bag due to a nappy leakage and said new outfit was not a good colour on her. I'm pretty sure she knew it (I was just pleased to know it was a nappy leakage since she was on my knee and I suddenly realised I had very wet leggings, for a moment was cursing not doing those pelvic flaw exercises)
2. She was happily sat with me then suddenly dumped on a sofa being stared at by a load of parents like she was some sort of doll. Think she was probably thinking, "wo there, who are these fools looking at me and why the hell can I see another 5 versions of myself" - a confusing thought one must admit. 

Anyway it is safe to say we ruined the photo, pretty sure we'll be photoshopped out. I told her this...she wasn't bothered. See below, it is not very clear admittedly:

Then on Saturday night we had Amy and Matt over for dinner. G Kisby cooked up a treat of fish broth with mussels and chorizo, followed by pancakes with banana, toffee sauce and ice cream. Amy also brought a very special book which she had sourced second hand from the internet. Apparently a favourite of hers when she was little. She then had the pleasure of reading Mabel her first story, "Mucky Mabel".

It was an interesting tale, clearly from the 80's, including the word 'gristle' - Mabel seemed to enjoy it and we very much appreciated the thought.

Yesterday morning I awoke at 5am with a very wet top coming from a large and extremely hard and painful right boob. I couldn't get comfy to get back to sleep and so lay awake willing our baby to wake up and save me from what I could only imagine (things always feel worse in the night I find) was a boob literally about to explode. I seem to have developed a fault with my right boob in that it is producing just too much milk (maybe I should become a donor?)
Anyway after lying awake for about 20 mins I realised I could be waiting some time (how ridiculously frustrating) so had to go down and express some milk. Sat in the lounge, in semi darkness, watching bbc 24hr news and milking myself - another very surreal moment to add to the bank. Made worse by the fact that suddenly G Kisby turns up to announce that Mabel has since woken up and was screaming (he said he wasn't alarmed to see me gone when he woke up but I do wonder) - typical.
When I eventually got back into bed I was shivering and cold. I literally could not get warm despite having layers on and being under the duvet. I also felt really achy and despite the draining my boob still feels really sore. So I think I may have mastitis, apparently the symptoms can come on quite quickly but luckily there are self help measures. The NHS direct website http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/mastitis/Pages/Introduction.aspx is very good. I am also going to go to the 'milk cafe' (yes that is really its name) which is a drop in centre on a Monday run by midwives to support women breastfeeding.
For once I am willing Mabel to be very hungry and want regular feeds...