A lesson learnt first hand?

So G Kisby nipped out this morning to gather supplies for our Sunday lunch with friends we haven't seen since before Mabel was born (he cooked fish stew with lots of fennel and large Gruyere croutons. I made gooseberry crumble with fruit from the garden. Yum)

And as he went to leave the house I noticed something alarming...
"Are you not taking the nappy bag?" I shouted after him as he left the house
"No I won't be long" came the reply

Interesting.

Apparently length of time is relevant. Actually, even if it was (it isn't, that baby can poo 3 times in an hour), she hadn't yet pooed all day. So the odds were not good. He was planning to play poo roulette.

"Seriously. You're not taking it?"
"No. I never do when just nipping out."

Now I don't know if this was true or he was trying to cover up the fact he almost forgot the nappy bag but I do think that he was then planning on leaving the house without it.
Hmm what to do? A small part of me said, "let him go, you'll only learn that lesson once"
Another part said, "harsh...", and yet another bigger part said, "...on your own child if nothing else".

So I insisted the bag went. But thinking about it afterwards I actually think he would have been just fine. G Kisby is very rarely flustered and somehow never gets in quite the mess that I do.

If it was me, I'd have gone to the toilets, taken off the nappy, only to then realise I didn't have provisions and had to put poo nappy back on. Or I'd have panicked and tried to call the AA or some other emergency back up (there should be a nappy support for new parents?) Or my first thought would have been to head to the safety of the car, then try and fashion a nappy out of my cardigan (that actually would be possible wouldn't it...if needs be? Note to self, always wear a cardigan).
G Kisby meanwhile would no doubt have just sauntered over to the nappy aisle, picked up the things he needed, then meandered over to the baby change. 

He would be in a supermarket when this occurrence happened. One other thing you need to know about G Kisby is that somehow he always seems to have that sort of laid back good luck. G Kisby would learn his lesson (or not) in a supermarket. I would find out in a church. Or in a restaurant with no change facilities. Or a car (why so many incidents with nappies in a car?)

So in fact it wouldn't really have been a lesson learnt first hand after all. And when I asked G Kisby what exactly he would have done when he returned (no poo having taken place notably) he answered, with as much nonchalance as expected,

"Well probably just have come home and changed her?"

Oh yeah...or that! 

Choosing childcare!

Gosh I hadn't even nearly realised how difficult this would be. There is the complete emotional battle, the fact that there are lots of childcare options but I'm not sure how many are brilliant and it is such a personal thing so where as with most other child stuff you can ask friends, it doesn't work quite so well on this front. Parred with trying to match availability with work requirements / location, argh nightmare.

Having a brother in law as an educational consultant has both helped and hindered (but in a good way). We were probably a bit naive as to what to ask and look out for so he has given us loads of good tips aside the from the standard advice you can find on Govt and parenting websites. However, showing examples of what excellent looks like has possibly made our already high expectations even more so.

I think we have finally found a child minder (she is just confirming availability). I am quite instinctual and it just felt right but I thought I would share some of the advice Alistair gave us incase any one else out there is going through the same thing and is as inexperienced in all this as us (I'm sure most people are way more clued up).

We created a shortlist based on a few key factors like location, ofsted results(http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report), opening times and vacancies, before going along to visit.

Things we then asked about...

1. Staff turnover (consider when the last ofsted report was, if it was years ago there might be a completely different mgt structure)
2. Rotation of staff (between locations / rooms) - will she have the consistency she needs to form secure attachments
3. Examples of activities (look at what is around the room - have displays been completed by children or have adults just done something to look good on the wall, how are the adults interacting with children - are they on the floor with them / are the children responding well)
4. How are they fed / how will they manage differences in routines / how about naps?
5. What are the provisions like for outdoor play? How often do they go outside (as often as possible for us)
6. What info will we get back as a parent at the end of each day? (what do we expect compared to what is offered)
7. How do they stimulate babies? (there is so much more that can be done than play mats, I hadn't even realised!)
8. What is the overall ethos?

Ultimately I think everyone has their individual list of things which they are willing to give on or not.

We knew it was an important decision and I do wish we had started looking earlier...it is tough but too important not to get right!